Parrises Squares is a game that has been mentioned across multiple Star Trek series. We know it’s an intense sport played by two teams of four players. Some people liked substituting in different players, while Riker frowned on the practice—it’s unclear whether that was his opinion, or an indication of different regions playing different rules.
We also know athletes wear padded uniforms, use an impressively named “ion mallet,” and players must navigate around a ramp, a feat that sometimes leads to injury. However, we still don’t know what people are supposed to do with the mallet, what the playing court looks like, or even how the game is scored. There’s tons of room for Earth interpretation, is what we’re saying.
So, what would make this mysterious Trek sport of choice fun to watch? Well, we know that players are prone to injuries, so, in the finest NASCAR style, it would probably be fun to see who (and what) gets wrecked. The game is also presumably really engaging—it’s cool enough to get those peace-loving Starfleet hippies playing it all over the galaxies, and Starfleet Academy cadets are prone to trashing their campus after a major win. Plus, we get hints that this is a 24th-century American Gladiators, with characters getting hit in the ribs, getting cuts on their faces, and breaking their wrists. And really–if we didn’t like seeing people in colorful costumes beating the hell out of each other, chances are we wouldn’t have so damn many comic book movies.